Category Archives: Spiritual musings

When the Earth Moved: Two Perspectives

When the Earth Moved: Two Perspectives  —by Jinny Batterson

(Ever since the May 12, 2008 earthquake in Sichuan province that shook many people’s worlds, I’ve been trying to write about it. An earlier version of this prose poem originally appeared in the 2014 edition of the Silly Tree poetry anthology, “The Way the Light Slants.” )

He: I was hiking in the Sichuan hills with two friends, one American, one Chinese,
When the earth began to shake. For some interval of time, I thought I would die.
We took shelter beneath a rock overhang until the worst shaking subsided.

She: I was babysitting our grandson in America when the phone rang–
A newspaper reporter from our former hometown asked,
“Do you have a close relative in the earthquake zone?”
“What earthquake?” I responded. Then the earth began to quiver for me, too.
I tried to stay calm for the sake of our grandson.

He: We decided to seek more permanent shelter
In the little village we’d passed through coming up the hill.
Dodging boulders, we arrived safely, to find some houses smashed,
But everyone alive, amazingly hospitable to a city stranger and two foreigners.

She: While the toddler napped, I trolled the Internet.
The earthquake’s epicenter had been near the giant panda preserve at Wolong.
Online posts told of bad damage at this site of my husband’s previous email.
However, no foreign casualties were reported. Most fatalities occurred in cities
As buildings collapsed. I took heart: husband and friends were in the rural hills.

He: Officials from a larger town downhill, where our Chinese friend’s car
Was parked, came and insisted we go with them.
We resisted. They persisted. We dodged more boulders, rejoined the car.
Townspeople offered food and a tent. We joined them in a simple meal,
Cheered with them when their exhausted children walked safely,
But grimly, single file, back to town from their damaged school.
Aftershocks punctuated the night. We catnapped in the car. By morning,
Soldiers had hiked in over a mountain pass–most roads were blocked.
They cleared rubble.

She: Once the babysitting day was over, our son returned from work.
Soon questions came from all sides–When had I last heard from him?
Did I know where he was, exactly? My inbox overflowed; the phone kept ringing.
I offered more reassurance than I felt: Area communication lines were down;
He’d been in the countryside, most likely out in the open.
I was pretty sure he was safe. I’d relay further news as soon as I heard.
Please try not to worry. I slept.

He: Officialdom everywhere can be a nuisance, even a danger.
We were told: “Foreign tourists should not be in the earthquake zone.
No earthquake images allowed.” Cameras were confiscated, pictures deleted.
Police cars, at breakneck speed, returned us to the provincial capital
Over roads that would not be fully repaired for years, if ever.

She: The second day was harder. No babysitting chores. No direct word,
Only more and more Internet reports of damage and deaths,
Even in the countryside. I did some part-time contract work, poorly.
Early to bed, but not to sleep, much. About 4 a.m.
I again checked the Internet. Short new message:
“Madam, excuse please poor English. Husband and friends safe.”
Quick phone call to the American friend’s wife,
Emails to other family and friends, then, at last, sleep.

He: We began to absorb the massive extent of the quake.
Our Chinese friend’s city was especially hard hit–her parents’
House badly damaged; friends, classmates and colleagues killed.
At last I could contact my wife–let her know I was all right.

She: That fall, we began a year of English teaching at a Sichuan university
Far enough from the epicenter to have escaped major damage,
But close enough so some students had lost family or friends.
We grieved with them, easing the pain by writing and telling it out.
One weekend in May, 2009, we made an unofficial visit to the quake zone.
Temporary housing sprawled amid massive reclamation efforts.
I got to meet and thank some families who’d sheltered my husband and friends.
I finally got to meet and thank the English-challenged
Cousin of our Chinese friend, whose simple email had surpassed language.

 

My Father’s Afghan

My Father’s Afghan   —by Jinny V. Batterson

A friend asked a group of us last fall to write a poem or lyric about a favorite memento. Before his memory was badly damaged by Alzheimer’s, my father in retirement took up knitting and crocheting, making scarves and blankets and afghans, giving at least one to each of his children. He also used his carpentry skills to make furniture out of pieces of wood he’d found on beaches and in woodland walks. Dad’s spirit persists, and we cherish the mementos he left us.

My father’s afghan’s worn, a loop pulled here and there,
But when I shrug beneath it, it envelopes me like prayer.
Dad’s gnarled hands were large, his knitting needles clicked–
They timed his slowing rhythms in a world obsessed with quick.

My father’s lamp burns bright, its bulb and shade are new,
Its base a set of gifts from autumn forests he walked through–
A branch entwined with vines, an interesting grain,
Within the lamplight’s glow I see those autumn woods again.

As his memory gradually died,
Confusion mocked Dad’s earlier pride–
His steps grew halting, his eyes grew dim;
By the time his body quit, there was little left of him.

My father’s spirit rests, his good and bad days done,
His ashes fondly buried near the house he last called home.
His legacy lives on, in loving songs like mine,
In crafts, and in concerns he shared with those he’s left behind.

DSCN3842

 

 

Du Fu’s Thatched Cottage

Du Fu’s Thatched Cottage     —by Jinny Batterson

China probably does not have a “National Poetry Month,” as is celebrated in the U.S. in April, but poetry is taught in schools across China from an early age.  Most university students can recite some of the most famous Chinese poems from memory. China reveres its poets, especially ancient ones.  During some of China’s more turbulent periods, poets gave voice to people’s hopes and concerns. They wrote about nature themes; they wrote about history, about dreams, about loss, about transcendence.  Du Fu, an itinerant poet who lived during part of the Tang Dynasty (712-770), was witness to one of its most disastrous episodes, the An-Shi Rebellion, which started in 756 and pitted the emperor at the time against several powerful warlords.

The rebels captured the capital of Chang’an (modern Xi’an), forcing many, including the emperor and the poet, who’d been living there for a decade, to flee.  Du Fu later moved to Chengdu, where friends helped him build a modest thatched home near a small stream.  There he wrote many of his most famous poems. His life was difficult. Bouts of relative poverty plagued him and his family. Social conditions continued to be unsettled in many parts of the country. He lived in several other locales after Chengdu, and was often on the road for extended periods.

In 2009, I had a chance to visit Du Fu’s cottage and the park surrounding it with one of my best students of English.  Having her to serve as translator increased my appreciation of the poet, his poetry, and the park.  The existing cottage is a replica, reconstructed several times, most recently during the 19th century, I think. It is a modest dwelling, with an actual thatched roof. The furnishings are sparse. One room is devoted to a gift shop/library with collections of poetry and calligraphy for sale.  I bought an English translation of some of Du Fu’s best known verse, but have since lost it in a move. I don’t know any Du Fu poems by heart, not even in translation.

As I recall, the cottage is a fairly small part of a larger oasis of greenery in this part of Chengdu. There is a hall of poets, with statues and inscriptions describing the life and work of other leading Tang and Song dynasty poets, including Li Bai, Wang Wei, Su Shi, and Lu You. In one section of the park, the sidewalk has been inlaid with short quotations from some of China’s most famous poets.  “Rebecca,” my student, tried translating a few of them for me, but poetry is notoriously difficult to render into a different language.

A number of Du Fu’s poems have been posted online in English versions.  One of my favorites is  “Lone Wild Goose,”  a poem he wrote near the end of a life disrupted by war, poverty, and frequent relocations:

Alone, the wild goose refuses food and drink,
his calls searching for the flock.

Who feels compassion for that single shadow
vanishing in a thousand distant clouds?

You watch, even as it flies from sight,
its plaintive calls cutting through you.

The noisy crows ignore it:
the bickering, squabbling multitudes.

There’s ample evidence that Du Fu’s troubles in later life made him more empathetic toward many of China’s peasants, whose lives had also been disrupted by the fighting and chaos of the period. But life was not uniformly severe. There’s also evidence that Du Fu and Li Bai (701-762), his slightly older contemporary, the most famous Tang poet, were at times able to spend evenings together among their fellows, drinking wine and challenging each other to poetry competitions.

 

Amahoro

Amahoro    —by Jinny Batterson

“Amahoro” is a traditional greeting in some of the languages of central Africa, where I lived about 30 years ago in Burundi’s capital city, Bujumbura.  The greeting’s meaning is hard to translate, somewhere between “How are you?” and “Peace be with you.”  The area’s two main ethnic groups, the Hutu and the Tutsi, have periodically been decimated by large-scale violence, the most infamous being the Rwandan genocide of 1994. Perhaps the best known chronicle of the area’s suffering and redemption is Tracy Kidder’s 2009 biography of “Deo,” a Burundian caught in the midst of violence in both Burundi and Rwanda who later finishes medical school in America and returns to his homeland to start a rural medical clinic. This  poem (which a friend has since set to music) tells parts of the story of a neighbor who shared greetings and a garden with me there during a relatively peaceful time.

I greet you, ‘amahoro:’ I’ve now four children grown,
A pleasant life, a loving spouse, grandchildren of my own,
Yet always there’s a part of me that finds this world disjoint–
With help from friends and mentors, I have finally reached this point.
The culture that I come from reveres calm and reserve,
My husband paid three cows for me, a bride he well deserved,
We’ve traveled wide and deeply, global service was our choice
Long years since my young world collapsed, this story finds its voice.

When I was finishing lycée, our country, newly formed,
Drowned in a sea of violence, death came to seem the norm.
My father was a Hutu, my mom a Tutsi proud.
It took a lot of courage then to say their love out loud.
We had a family compound in the capital’s green hills.
My father was a doctor, among the highest skilled.
He left for work one morning, before the dawn’s first light.
The streets were filled with soldiers, he did not come home that night.

I’ve grown skeptical of labels, too often they divide,
They can mask our human failings and feed our human pride.
I’ve long since left my country, there life still for most is grim–
Where lots of blame and fighting mar the beauty born within.
My story’s one of many, still, it’s hard to find the tone
To share this tragicomedy with those who can’t have known
The hole losing my dad made for all he knew and loved–
We gather strength in what remains to conquer hate with love.

 

Amahoro

Treetops (for Linda Swirczek)

Treetops   (for Linda Swirczek)    —by Jinny Batterson

(Those who mother us are not always our biological mothers. The first version of this meditation was written nearly a generation ago in memory of a fellow consultant whose physical death had come much too early. Though Consultants’ Camp has since relocated and though I haven’t been as acutely aware of Linda since the treetops episode, I’m persuaded that her spirit persists, ready to provide wise counsel again when most needed. Happy Mother’s Day to all the women and men who’ve mothered us, whether or not they have biological children.)

For the first few years, she attended our
Struggling annual conference,
Bubbly, nearly always kind, smoothing
Our rough edges.

Then the politician husband whose children
She had raised to adulthood divorced her.
First came depression. Later, a brain tumor
Proved resistant to treatment.

She rallied long enough to share one
Last festive meal and decadent dessert
At the log cabin restaurant in
The Rockies resort town where
Consultants’ Camp was then meeting.

The mountain climber who’d fallen
Deeply in love with post-divorce Linda
Took charge of her physical ashes.
The following summer, he scattered them
On a favorite peak.

Several years passed. After a health scare
Of my own, I was shaky and unsure.
I traveled. I took a short hike
Among California trees, then
Stopped for a rest, seemingly alone.

Dust motes sparkled in light filtered
Through redwoods that had been seedlings
A hundred human generations
Before my friend and I were born.

From somewhere near the tops
Of the trees, Linda’s lilting cadences
Drifted down: “Don’t panic,” she told me,
“Remember who you are.”

Bristlecone Pine

Bristlecone Pine —by Jinny Batterson

(This poem was written in the late 1990’s when I attended a conference in western Colorado founded by one of my data processing mentors, Jerry Weinberg, with his wife Dani. Jerry, during the time that I knew him best, was beset by physical ailments of one kind or another, also jettisoning non-essential body parts to keep going. Though he hasn’t yet reached the millennial mark, he’s past 80, still writing, still distilling wisdom and sharing it with anyone who has time to pay attention. Jerry’s website is at www.geraldmweinberg.com. Check out some of his poetry, too.)

Solitary, silhouetted
Against a desert sky,
Its trunk twisted,
Its branches out of symmetry,
A mute testament
To the
Will to survive.
In dry years or decades,
It jettisons limbs, even trunk, to keep
Remaining life
Concentrated, capable of
Regeneration. In wet years
Or decades,
It bursts forth
In luxurious lopsided
Growth.
This is how it
Endures
For
Millennia.

Jonah’s Dilemma (The Curse of Being Heeded)

Jonah’s Dilemma (The Curse of Being Heeded)

(This entry is based partly on Bible stories I heard as a child, partly on a paraphrase of the original Biblical tale by Anne Herbert that I first read in the 1981 edition of the Whole Earth Catalog.  One of the downsides of being reform-minded is that we often don’t know how to react if/when the reforms we are so passionate about do get implemented.)

The Bible poses thorny problems, new to us over and over.
Take the story of Jonah. As children, we reveled in his adventures–
Being swallowed by a big fish, then spit out, alive
On a faraway shore.  Wow!

It’s not until much later (and sometimes never) that Jonah’s ethical problems
Begin to grab us.  Like the whale’s digestive system, they gnaw at us,
Leaching nourishment into our souls.

Most other Biblical prophets ranted at a reluctant public
Who refused to heed their warnings, getting their just desserts
In due season: being pulled apart by dogs, like Jezebel,
Or exiled to Babylon, like the Jews, or…
We’re pretty good at filling in the blanks.

Jonah didn’t want to rant and rave. He could see retribution coming
For Nineveh, and he did not want to risk being prophetic.

But being a prophet is a calling not dismissed easily.
Despite Jonah’s best efforts at evasion,
He was thrown among the people he was meant to warn.
He stuttered off his message, finding to his great surprise
That his audience was receptive.  What’s more, they were willing,
Even eager, to mend their ways.

They repented.

Which left Jonah in the lurch even worse than being barfed up
By a whale.  Where is the paragraph in the prophets’ manual
That explains what to do with a repentant public?
Jonah had no role models.
He did what most of us do when thoroughly frustrated–
He threw a tantrum, venting much of his stored up
Invective at a God who once again surpasses our
Addiction to pat solutions.

And God replied with a question, an important one:
Is there a possibility that someday, somehow, we, too

Can surpass our addiction to pat solutions?

Job’s Wife

Job’s Wife    –by Jinny Batterson

(written in January, 1998, after viewing an exhibit of
William Blake’s illustrations for the Biblical book of Job)

Sometimes it bothers me
What little mention
I get in the Bible.
The one verse in my voice,
At the beginning
Of Job’s story,
Is shrewish
And nagging:
“Do you still hold fast
To your integrity?
Curse God, and die.”

Had I been around
When the scribes wrote
My husband’s story,
I’d have gently reminded them
How much they were leaving out.

I doubt they’d have listened.
Writers and media folks typically
Want “man bites dog”
Tales, or hyperbole.

Gentleness, quiet persistence,
Lie mainly between the lines
Of Biblical lore.

So we get chapter
After chapter
Of Job’s longwinded
Friends arguing–
Trying to fit
Job and God into
Their own little boxes.

I learned early that both God
And Job were beyond labels,
But the scribes couldn’t
Write that in so many words.

William Blake captured it
Better in picture–
Me bent silent at Job’s feet,
Offering what comfort I could.

Showing in my posture
How much it hurt me,
Too, to lose all,
Especially those children.

I’d carried them in my womb,
Wiped their runny noses,
Shared in their triumphs
And sorrows.

Now I was without them,
Utterly thrust down–
No longer a respected matron
And wife,
But the sorely bereaved
Helpmate of a poor
Hulk of a soul
Covered all over with boils.

Many’s the time I considered
Cursing God, and Job, too,
But I didn’t.

Instead, I cooked gruel
Of the grain we had left;
I washed his feet
With my tears,
And I stayed by him.

While he wrestled
With the pain
And the hard questions,
I struggled, too.

If God’s answer to Job
Came loudly:
“Have you a voice like God,
And can you thunder
With a voice like his?”
The answer I got was so still
And small, it took me a
Long time to hear it.

“No loss is irredeemable,”
God told me, “Be steadfast,
And you will come to understand.”

So I stayed on.
After Job’s repentance,
When he prayed for forgiveness
For his three friends,
You may notice
That Job didn’t have
To pray for me–
I had been praying
With and for him all along.

We had lots of good years
After that.
More children, too.

We rarely took any of them
For granted.
There’s no joy
Sweeter than joy after sorrow.

And I read between the lines
(Women can be good at that)
That the scribes paid me
A compliment the only way they
Knew how–by naming my
Descendants.

As they ended their book,
It’s our latest daughters
Whose names they wrote down:
Jemimah, Kesiah, and Kerenhappuch.

Of course, I love our sons, too,
And I’ve loved Job forever.

And I think it’s a testimony
To feminine strength
That it’s our daughters
Whose names are mentioned–
Who share in Job’s inheritance.